ossifragant | IC Contact

Hey, asshole, pick up your phone!

[...The sun is just barely coming up, Naki, why--]

I figured out what I wanna say. Or... how to say it or whatever. So don't keep me waiting for too long!

[He's sitting on the bed in his house, lying on his stomach with someone else holding the 'Gear. Naki's not properly dressed for once, instead lounging around in a baggy gray t-shirt and obnoxious lime green shorts. His hair isn't even properly combed back and his bangs are instead pinned out of his face with a few black bobby pins. He's not really looking at the 'Gear either as he speaks, instead he's drawing on a piece of paper. It's kind of difficult to make out what he's drawing from this angle, but it looks like he's putting a lot of detail into it.]

It'd be great if you could come over. I don't wanna do this over the phone.

[And with that, the message ends.]

Eh...?

[He's barely awake, but luckily he is awake, but it takes him a moment to come up with a coherent answer anyway.

Naki doesn't look too good, which manages to worry Greed, though he's trying not to show it.]

I'll be over in a little while.

[And maybe 20 minutes later, he shows up at Naki's door with a knock.]

[The door opens to reveal Naki's two Malamars. They both greet Greed cordially and one of them will lead him back toward Naki's room while the other takes care of locking the door.

Naki's still drawing on the bed when Greed enters. He pauses after a moment and glances up.]

Hey. I didn't think you'd get here so soon.

[He gestures for Greed to join him on the bed and the Malamar takes her leave, shutting the door behind her.]

You don't look well.

[But he sits down next to Naki, hesitating for a moment before he places a hand on the smaller man's shoulder.]

Everything all right?

Mm, not really. I've got a lot of shit to tell you.

[Naki doesn't look up from the picture or acknowledge the hand on his shoulder. The drawing he's been working on is of a distinctive-looking man in a white suit. The suit's style should be very familiar, since it's what Naki usually wears. The picture is surprisingly good, though it looks like the man Naki was drawing is just naturally that busted.]

...I guess I'll just get into it then, yeah?

[He rolls his shoulders a bit and finally shifts his attention to Greed. Naki still looks very serious.]

I've already told you that I'm a ghoul. I've been with ghouls all my life, so I never really had a chance to spend time with humans. That's good though, since humans are fucking awful where I'm from. There's a group called the doves - they hunt us. If they catch us, they either kill us or throw us in... "jail" is kind of the understatement of the fucking year, but I'm not sure how else to describe it.

Cochlea, that's the name of the place I was kept. I don't even remember how they fucking caught me, but they did and they threw me in there. I've got no fucking clue how long I was in there, but it's... it's not like prison. You know humans pull that bullshit about not stooping to "cruel or unusual punishment" or whatever? Yeah. Forget that shit. If you're a ghoul, you're not a goddamn person and they'll do whatever the fuck they want to you.

I was kept nearly starved so I couldn't fight. It was mostly isolated. And if they didn't like what you had to say to them, they'd fuck you up. I had it easy in comparison to some of the ghouls who were in there. They wanted information out of me, but I didn't know fucking anything and they still kept me locked up. For... months. It must've been months. I don't fucking know.

[He looks pretty angry as he speaks, but he's not yelling. Naki reaches out to grab a few tissues from the box on the bed and swipes at his eyes. He's not wearing the usual makeup, it would have been smeared by now.]

[He listens quietly. Greed doesn't know what to say, or if there's anything he can say. Greed was locked away for over 100 years by Dante, but that's not anywhere near the same thing that Naki went through-- 100 years, unable to move or be free to make his own choice, it had been horrible.

But homunculi are also functionally immortal. It's not nearly the same thing. He rubs his hand along Naki's back, eyeing him carefully.]

That's....

[But he doesn't really know what to say.]

I'm sorry.

Edited 2015-09-06 09:00 (UTC)

[Naki laughs, though the sound is hollow.]

I meant it when I said I didn't have it as bad as some of the others. Aniki - my boss, Yamori - he was tortured. There's no nice way to put it. He was fucking tortured while he was in there. He was the guy who took me in, the first person to ever give a shit about me. I didn't have parents, or if I did, I don't know what happened to them. I don't know what the fuck my birth name is. I don't remember too much of my past before Yamori took me in. I was kinda shoved off on any ghoul who'd look out for me. I was treated like shit for a long time.

But Yamori was different. He taught me how to read and write and do shit. I did whatever I could to be like him, 'cause he was my whole fucking world. I spent all my time in that shithole waiting to get out of there and see him again.

And when I got out, he was dead. Some fucking kid took him out. There wasn't anything I could do, except try to avenge him, but like fuck if I got a chance to do that. I had a goddamn job to do, a stupid organization to serve 'cause that's who Yamori was working for. So I did it, 'cause what the fuck else was I supposed to do with myself? I couldn't die, I just fucking couldn't. Not after I got out of there. If I managed to live through all that shit just to get out and die because I was sad or lonely or what-the-fuck-ever it would've been a goddamn waste, and I was so fucking sick of being a waste.

[He falls quiet for a moment before handing the picture over.]

...I was told that sometimes dead people will come here. During those weird weekends. I spent the first couple waiting for him. I figured he'd show up and I could... I dunno. I don't know what the fuck I'd say to him.

But eventually I realized that I'm not the person he knew. I'm not the same dumb kid he taught how to run errands and wear a suit properly. I'm not the same dumbass he expected to take care of simple shit. I'm not his right hand man anymore, and I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to that. I've gone soft here. If he were to show up tomorrow, I think he'd want nothing to do with me.

It's been fucking me up for awhile. I try not to think about it because it's... it's fucked up. To try to be exactly like him and to focus on that instead of adapting to this place, instead of living my life here. So I... I try not to do that shit. Because I like it here. Honestly? I like it way better than I like Tokyo. If I had a choice I'd stay here. I'd stay here with you and Jimmy and Tsukiyama and none of that shit would ever touch me ever again and I'd be fucking happy for once in my fucking life.

[He tosses the tissues off the side of the bed angrily and grabs another handful. It looks like he's going to go through the whole box at this rate.]

I don't want you to think that you're like... his replacement or something like that. 'Cause you're not. You're not like him at all. You're you and I love you because you're you. But it's... it's been so fucking difficult to sort all this shit out. I miss him so fucking much and yet... I don't think... I don't think he'd be able to tolerate me anymore, s-so--

[And that's about the point where he loses all composure and Naki just starts sobbing. It's a lot of uglycrying, occasionally punctuated by incoherent wails. He hasn't broken down like this in front of anyone since he arrived in Johto, so it's been building for quite some time.]

[Again, he listens quietly. Letting Naki talk it out is the best route to take, as far as he's concerned. Greed is lousy at talking about things like this, and he wouldn't know what to say even if he wasn't.]

That's just normal, isn't it?

[It's all he can say before Naki bursts into tears and Greed pulls Naki into an embrace. He should say something so he doesn't seem like a complete and utter jackass.]

Hey, hey. I don't think I'm the replacement for anything. I care about you, you know that.

You can tell me these things, it's okay.

[Well, whatever shirt you're wearing is probably going to be ruined by the time Naki's done. He immediately settles against Greed's shoulder and sobs. He's the sort who could probably go forever when it comes to crying, but eventually the tears will slow enough so he can actually manage words.]

Th-Thanks... I-I'm... such a fucking mess, huh?

[It sounds like he's trying to make light of the situation, but he's failing miserably.]

Th-That's shit's been building for awhile, I guess.

[...]

Don't you fucking dare let go.

[He leans his head against Naki's, smiling faintly. Greed's trying to be comforting, he's just.... really bad at this. Naki is strange, and Greed's positive now he isn't being told everything about ghouls, but he also isn't sure he wants to ask.

Homunculi eat souls; whatever ghouls did to earn the wrath of humans, he's not sure he wants to know.]

I'm glad you told me.

[He's definitely not letting go.]

[Hey, you never know! Maybe humans are just jerks!!

Naki isn't relaxing any, but eventually the tears are manageable.]

It's different, telling someone else about all this. I've talked to Tsukiyama a bit. But his boss is someone aniki tortured so... obviously we've got conflicting interests there. I can't talk to him about that and honestly, I don't really want to. I don't know if he'd get it. He's got himself figured out, he's not like I am.

[Naki moves to nuzzle into Greed's neck after a moment.]

...Telling a human anything about ghouls would be a fucking death sentence back home. But it's okay because we're not there and you're not human anyway.

[Well, sort of.]

[...Naki's a little like a cat, isn't he? Not that Greed minds at all, of course. He rubs the back of Naki's neck, smiling faintly.]

You can tell me, you know. About ghouls. It's not like I'm gonna tell anyone.

[Sure, Greed's human here, but so is Naki. Neither of them really know what the hell they're doing, so it makes talking easier.]

I think I've told you everything. Ghouls are predators, humans are prey. Shit like that.

[He relaxes a little against the touch and after a moment he leans into it.]

[Wait, what?]

I don't think you've told me that part before.

[Not that he entirely minds pseudo-cannibals since he's a homunculus, but that's a pretty significant detail.]

[That gets him to pull back a little so he can stare at Greed.]

...I didn't tell you that? Humans are the only fucking thing we can eat.

[...maybe he shouldn't have said that, hang on--]

Ahh-- Shit, you can't-- You can't tell anyone that!

[He's just... going to pinch the bridge of his noise here.]

I guess that explains why you're so interested in eating as many sweets as possible.

[Greed holds up a hand after a moment, though.]

You have my word; I won't say anything.

[Something something stones and glass houses.]

Well, yeah. I couldn't eat anything like that back home. I mean I could but it was all super disgusting and it'd just fuck up my ability to fight.

[He relaxes a bit once Greed's confirmed that he won't say anything.]

Yeah. Thanks. I thought I'd mentioned that already.

["Oh, so you're like a panda" is what Greed would say if he knew what a panda was.]

That... sounds difficult to manage.

[HE'S NOT A PANDA, HE'S A GHOUL thank god our conversation can't go that stupid]

Not really. I managed just fine for the most part.

[Ignoring Cochlea...]

[YOU CAN ONLY EAT ONE THING, IT'S A LITTLE LIKE A PANDA

...A CARNIVOROUS, PSEUDO-CANNIBALISTIC PANDA BUT STILL]

I see.

[He actually does. Kind of.]

I just thought maybe blending in would be difficult.

[Because Greed didn't even bother tbh]

[WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT PANDAS THOUGH, GHOULS ARE THE SUPERIOR SPECIES]

Oh, I usually don't have to give a shit about that. I spend all my time with ghouls. I never had a reason to hang out with humans. Showing up here was the first time I was surrounded by them.

[Excluding being locked up in Cochlea, but that was less "surrounded by humans" and more "saw a few humans who were total assholes".]

[...yes, yes, of course they are.]

...that does make sense.

Yeah. There's still a lot of things I've got to get used to, but since ghouls don't exist here I'm not as worried. It doesn't seem like I'm in any danger or anything.

But you can understand why I've been such a mess, right?

[Greed leans against him, bumping his head against Naki's.]

Yeah, I understand. Thank you for telling me, Naki.

[Naki nuzzles Greed immediately in response. He's calmed down a lot since all this started.]

Yeah, you don't have to thank me. I needed to get it all out there anyway. If anyone from Aogiri shows up I shouldn't have an issue, 'cause I don't give a shit about them and I'm not working for them.

[The only exception is Yamori, but Naki's honestly not sure how he'd handle Yamori showing up here, so it's better not to think about it.]

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