Greed (
ossifragant) wrote2015-01-25 11:40 pm
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012 Things Acquired [text; action for Goldenrod]
So here's a question. This place still likes hypothetical, doesn't it?
Say a while ago something happened to you. One of those should be impossible situations that you were nevertheless curious about. But you don't remember it too well so you were hoping that maybe lightning strikes twice. Just maybe, you'll get your chance to have it happen again and this time remember the situation with a bit more clarity than the last.
You're just that lucky-- it happens again by some act of divine providence.
But when it happens again everything about it feels strange. It's like looking into one of those funhouse mirrors. Everything about it is off. It feels wrong. You remember all of it this time and wonder, despite it being what you wanted, if you dearly wish you didn't. It makes you question yourself. Why would you want to have it happen again? Maybe there was a reason why you don't remember it happening the first time.
What would you do? What the hell kind of situation would you find yourself wanting to happen again? I'd like to know, if you don't mind.
Say a while ago something happened to you. One of those should be impossible situations that you were nevertheless curious about. But you don't remember it too well so you were hoping that maybe lightning strikes twice. Just maybe, you'll get your chance to have it happen again and this time remember the situation with a bit more clarity than the last.
You're just that lucky-- it happens again by some act of divine providence.
But when it happens again everything about it feels strange. It's like looking into one of those funhouse mirrors. Everything about it is off. It feels wrong. You remember all of it this time and wonder, despite it being what you wanted, if you dearly wish you didn't. It makes you question yourself. Why would you want to have it happen again? Maybe there was a reason why you don't remember it happening the first time.
What would you do? What the hell kind of situation would you find yourself wanting to happen again? I'd like to know, if you don't mind.
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Okay, you'll have to be a little more specific than that, because there's "I just hypothetically saw an angel, or had strange visions of a dark planet lit by no sun" on one hand, or, I dunno, "I hypothetically tried to murder my doppelganger" on the other.
[Hypothetically, of course.
Not like any of that happened to him before, of course. That's just crazy.]
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[THE DOPPELGANGER QUESTION THOUGH]
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[He's not sure about the angels.]
And about my double, well...I don't want to see him again, but if it meant he'd die, I...I guess that'd be okay?
Does that make sense?
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cw: talking about gore and dismemberment
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Is everything ok, Mr. Greed?
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Everything's still going well for you, I hope?
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Oh, that's good. I'm glad you're okay.
Yes! Everything is ok!
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Is that about it, or am I completely off the mark?
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I'm not saying that having it happen a second time is an awful experience; it doesn't have to be and might actually be completely enjoyable. It's just a matter of looking back after the fact and thinking to yourself, "That wasn't what I was expecting and now I'm not entirely sure how to process it."
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One tries to take you back to before; the other brings you to that point again, but along a course that's always moved forward.
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Whether or not it was a specific incident that inspired this question doesn't really matter. I'm not really looking for someone to solve my problems for me.
Let's make up an incident if you need an example. You go surfing in Cianwood, but you're either having so much fun or you were drunk so you don't really remember it. So months later, you go back to the same spot, thinking the weather conditions are about the same as they were the day you went there last, and for whatever reason reality doesn't quite meet up with your memory.
It's not that it's disappointment or approval-- you don't really know what to think, I guess. It's just there and it's odd and you don't know whether or not feeling ambivalent is a good thing.
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I get it. Like when you watch a movie you loved when you were a kid and it turns out the velcro on the monster is obvious as fuck.
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[France had a revolution. And then another. And another. And so forth. He feels for you.]
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But what if the incident you've experience, that déjà vu, isn't a bad thing? There's nothing unpleasant about it. It's not like you've experienced a breakup or even something going wrong.
The situation was off, but not in a way that makes you feel like you've been wronged in some ways. It's alien, sure, but not something to make you fee malaise.
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[...well, looks like you lost Naki. Apparently he's just going to comment on this even though he has no idea what's going on because you're his friend and he's trying to be helpful to his friends even though he's really bad at it!!!]
DID SOMETHING HAPPEN
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...How does he explain this though.]
It's been a few months, but something did happen. I've been stuck on it for a while. It hasn't been keeping me up at night or anything but every once in a while I kept thinking about it again.
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UR NOT TELLING ME ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED SO I GUESS ITS NOT SOMETHING U WANT EVERY1 2 KNOW
BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED
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I'll never understand all of it. I didn't even give it any thought a year ago.
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If I had something happen like that though I don't think I'd ever want it happening again, even if I can't remember all the details. And if I don't remember... there must be a good reason why, right?
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Memories fade after time, even the pleasant ones. It doesn't have to mean anything traumatic happened, I don't think.
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[For a guy who puts so much effort into coming off like a bit of a thug, he does have a way with words. She frowns thoughtfully for a moment before starting to type.]
Hey
Is this about something that happened on that weekend?
[She doesn't want to make assumptions, but it sounds like that's what he's talking about. And after Envy's confession earlier, she sort of wonders if it's the same thing.]
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You could say that.
[It's not about the problem Envy had, but to be honest, that problem has been weighing on his mind, too. He just isn't asking that particular question.]
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[Though... maybe he should have read through what he was typing again. Oh well, he'll explain now!]
I'm a believer in confronting things head on. I guess I'll come up with a better example for you. Say you ran into a situation, met someone you only half remember. This wasn't an unpleasant situation, though I wouldn't say it was a happy one, either. Somewhere in the middle veering more towards pleasant, though.
But you don't remember it too well after it happened. So you'd rather like it to happen again, to meet this person again. When you do, it's strange. Not horrible, but not at all what you were expecting.
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