For all I know, this could be a terrible disaster. But we've been more or less getting along, when we talk. And I've spent so much time devoting so many of my thoughts to him, I'd like to know whether it's been worth it or if it we're never going to be able to deal with one another face to face and I should just move on.
[Whoever the traveling companion is, Greed doesn't particularly care. He and Lust have been traveling together for quite some time as it is. He can't hold it against someone for doing the same thing. If anything it'll learning more information about Scar easier.]
I'll be here for you. I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'm here.
If I encountered someone who knew me before, I imagine it would be just as strange. You're young, so you have experiences Envy and I couldn't have had.
[He's quiet for a moment, trying to put the pieces together in his head.]
You told me you were Ishballan as a human. I assume you and Scar knew each other. From your general age, and his age, he must have been a child when things happened.
Other than that, I don't know anything. I haven't exactly asked Envy about this.
[Lust looks at her hands again. Specifically the nodes on the backs of them. A part of her wishes he had just asked Envy, but mostly she's appreciative of his consideration.]
His brother made me. I was his bride-to-be.
[The layers of complexity only got deeper, really.]
I don't remember it. I barely remember that man. I could tell you a little of what he looked like, but that's all. I can recall Scar easier - as he was, I mean.
[He's quiet for a time, not certain what he can say. Nothing he could say would be comforting. What are they, really? Creatures, people created who look like the dead and even had some of the dead's memories, but they're not them.
If becoming human didn't turn Greed into that man he looks like, nothing will.]
It's always done out of selfishness, isn't it? We're never given a choice in the matter. We're never asked if we want this. That choice is made for us.
[Lust shakes her head, slightly. Her hands curl into fists and she swallows hard. It's something she's thought on so much, but never spoken.]
No. I don't like to think that. I'd like to think I was created in the same spirit as any human is. Out of some sort of love and desire to extend life. I'm not what that man who made me intended, but that doesn't matter. I'm still alive, I'm still a person, and I find some small measure of comfort in the belief my origins were more than just some horrible, blood-spattered tragedy of errors. Someone was trying to do something they thought was good and kind, and that act made me. If I was made out of good intention then I can be something good.
[Greed can't say he agrees. He'd been born because he would remember loving Dante and continue doing it. He'd been born because he would be a useful tool who didn't ask questions. All he had ever wanted was the ability to live his own life, and he had only been given that opportunity by coming here.
But what right does he have to argue the point?
He and Envy had been trapped, their experiences were different. Greed especially.]
...if only there was a way to make us complete. Even here, even now, I don't feel complete.
[Lust unclenches her hands and lets out a breath. It's all connected, it's all intertwined.]
Near the end, I wanted to be human so badly because I thought if I were human, I'd be that woman. And if I were that woman, then Scar would love me. He loved her. And I don't feel complete either, I don't know if I ever will. I feel closer than I ever have, but it's still just out of reach.
...besides Dante, there are two people I care about so deeply that realizing I haven't seen either of them in five months is upsetting if I dwell on it too long. I don't know about the one... but the other I'd do anything if I could ensure that she shows up. She could even be the one from the other world and I'd be happy.
I wouldn't even have to become human... if I could become mortal and spend my life with her, I'd be happy.
It's more complicated with the other person, but even then, I don't know...
Did she love you? This woman you'd spend your life with?
[She isn't going to ask for any specific details, Greed's sharing enough. But she wants to know this one thing. Because she understands that feeling Greed's describing, that strong want to be with someone. Someone in particular.]
I've only really felt this way about Scar. There was another man...an alchemist, I think I may have mentioned him, but...
I... I'm bad with feelings with my emotions. I've only recently realized that I love her, that I would do anything for her. That I was willing to die for her.
[He has to hope, has to believe that she did.
It doesn't matter as much with Kimbley because he's not certain if he's really capable of something like that, and Greed doesn't love him on top of that, but with Martel he needs to believe she loved him.]
It's fine... loving more than one person at once. There's nothing wrong with it.
[The rest she leaves unspoken - that he gets his chance to tell her, that he can be happy with the person he loves so much he wants to share his life with them. She hopes that he does.]
No, I don't think there is. And I think there are different types and levels of love. I don't mean friendly and familial, I mean...that sort of affection. Not everyone agrees, though.
[Kimbley deserved everything that happened to him, but Martel was different. She had been a victim of circumstances like the rest of the chimera.]
I'd like that, her being here. She'd like this place.
[He doesn't know if she will. Archer's been waiting for three years and he's kind of a wreck in some ways because of it. Greed hopes that he doesn't become that bad, waiting in vain for Martel to show up.]
It doesn't matter if people disagree. What's true is true.
We can't help who we fall in love with, but that doesn't mean we have to pick one and can never look at another. The only thing that's important is making certain that everyone is fine with the arrangement.
[They're all here. Alphonse just recently arrived. There's nothing to say that anyone from their home couldn't show up. And Greed deserved that chance.
She makes a small noise that's hard to determine, somewhere between a snort and a sigh.]
That is the important part. But some people believe that what they were first taught is the only truth, and aren't easily opened to new ones.
[Is this about Scar? It's probably about him, isn't it? Greed doesn't know enough about the culture of Ishbal, and his information is entirely out of date to begin with.]
It can be challenging to change a person's mind when they've already decided their mind is made up, but it's not impossible. It takes more time than it would with someone who isn't stubborn, but it's not like it can't happen.
Especially when the subject in question has a seemingly uncontrollable streak of jealousy. But I think it's getting better. Or he's trying, anyhow. I think. I try and actually talk to him about it, but...
[That's when things get difficult, and Lust doesn't quite know how to explain it all herself.]
This isn't something he can understand. He's not trying to take Lust away from him or anything. They're traveling because they're friends, nothing more. Besides, even if they were something more, he isn't about to stop Lust from pursuing a relationship with Scar.]
I hope so. I've tried explaining that you and I are close, yes, but not in the way Scar assumes. I'm not going to deny that I have feelings for you that would likely be considered more than simple friendship, but we can't even be classified as lovers for god's sake. And anyway, it doesn't change what I feel for Scar or diminish it in any way. It's just difficult for him to grasp.
[She can understand that. But there's so much more than what Scar's been brought up to believe. She wouldn't care so much if not for the current situation.]
[It's not really something that needs to be stated, but they're not lovers. Even if they were, it wouldn't change how Lust feels towards Scar, nor would he want it to.]
[Lust nods. It's a term she's heard, but she's never given much thought to it. But it fits. She trusts Greed more than anyone outside of Envy, she can talk to him about things she can't talk to anyone else about, and she feels safe with him. There's affection and attraction, but they're born of those things that make Greed her best friend. She wants to share their lives, not tie them together in any way.]
Yes, that's it. You're my closest friend. Our bond isn't the deep romantic one he seems to think it is. I'm hoping that in person it will be easier for me to explain.
[He struggles with explaining his relationships with people, even to himself. But he knows he doesn't feel like same way towards Lust that he does Martel, so that helps him anchor himself.
She's beautiful, and they're going to live together starting in October, but it's not out of anything romantic. It's a practical situation. They're going to be housemates.]
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He... does know we're traveling together, right?
[It's not like Greed has exactly made it a secret, and he doubts that Lust has either, but just in case.]
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[Somewhat. Lust's done most of the talking, but Greed has been discussed. She hasn't been actively keeping anything from Scar, on this front.]
We've been talking somewhat frequently, over the 'gears.
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I see. It's just him, then?
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[Scar only mentioned it once.]
For all I know, this could be a terrible disaster. But we've been more or less getting along, when we talk. And I've spent so much time devoting so many of my thoughts to him, I'd like to know whether it's been worth it or if it we're never going to be able to deal with one another face to face and I should just move on.
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I'll be here for you. I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'm here.
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[Lust sighs and runs a hand through her hair, pushing it back over her shoulders.]
How much do you know, about Scar and my's history?
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[He's quiet for a moment, trying to put the pieces together in his head.]
You told me you were Ishballan as a human. I assume you and Scar knew each other. From your general age, and his age, he must have been a child when things happened.
Other than that, I don't know anything. I haven't exactly asked Envy about this.
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His brother made me. I was his bride-to-be.
[The layers of complexity only got deeper, really.]
I don't remember it. I barely remember that man. I could tell you a little of what he looked like, but that's all. I can recall Scar easier - as he was, I mean.
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If becoming human didn't turn Greed into that man he looks like, nothing will.]
It's always done out of selfishness, isn't it? We're never given a choice in the matter. We're never asked if we want this. That choice is made for us.
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No. I don't like to think that. I'd like to think I was created in the same spirit as any human is. Out of some sort of love and desire to extend life. I'm not what that man who made me intended, but that doesn't matter. I'm still alive, I'm still a person, and I find some small measure of comfort in the belief my origins were more than just some horrible, blood-spattered tragedy of errors. Someone was trying to do something they thought was good and kind, and that act made me. If I was made out of good intention then I can be something good.
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But what right does he have to argue the point?
He and Envy had been trapped, their experiences were different. Greed especially.]
...if only there was a way to make us complete. Even here, even now, I don't feel complete.
[...]
Sorry. We're getting off topic here.
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[Lust unclenches her hands and lets out a breath. It's all connected, it's all intertwined.]
Near the end, I wanted to be human so badly because I thought if I were human, I'd be that woman. And if I were that woman, then Scar would love me. He loved her. And I don't feel complete either, I don't know if I ever will. I feel closer than I ever have, but it's still just out of reach.
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I wouldn't even have to become human... if I could become mortal and spend my life with her, I'd be happy.
It's more complicated with the other person, but even then, I don't know...
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[She isn't going to ask for any specific details, Greed's sharing enough. But she wants to know this one thing. Because she understands that feeling Greed's describing, that strong want to be with someone. Someone in particular.]
I've only really felt this way about Scar. There was another man...an alchemist, I think I may have mentioned him, but...
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I... I'm bad with feelings with my emotions. I've only recently realized that I love her, that I would do anything for her. That I was willing to die for her.
[He has to hope, has to believe that she did.
It doesn't matter as much with Kimbley because he's not certain if he's really capable of something like that, and Greed doesn't love him on top of that, but with Martel he needs to believe she loved him.]
It's fine... loving more than one person at once. There's nothing wrong with it.
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[The rest she leaves unspoken - that he gets his chance to tell her, that he can be happy with the person he loves so much he wants to share his life with them. She hopes that he does.]
No, I don't think there is. And I think there are different types and levels of love. I don't mean friendly and familial, I mean...that sort of affection. Not everyone agrees, though.
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[Kimbley deserved everything that happened to him, but Martel was different. She had been a victim of circumstances like the rest of the chimera.]
I'd like that, her being here. She'd like this place.
[He doesn't know if she will. Archer's been waiting for three years and he's kind of a wreck in some ways because of it. Greed hopes that he doesn't become that bad, waiting in vain for Martel to show up.]
It doesn't matter if people disagree. What's true is true.
We can't help who we fall in love with, but that doesn't mean we have to pick one and can never look at another. The only thing that's important is making certain that everyone is fine with the arrangement.
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[They're all here. Alphonse just recently arrived. There's nothing to say that anyone from their home couldn't show up. And Greed deserved that chance.
She makes a small noise that's hard to determine, somewhere between a snort and a sigh.]
That is the important part. But some people believe that what they were first taught is the only truth, and aren't easily opened to new ones.
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It can be challenging to change a person's mind when they've already decided their mind is made up, but it's not impossible. It takes more time than it would with someone who isn't stubborn, but it's not like it can't happen.
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[Oh yes, they're talking about Scar.]
Especially when the subject in question has a seemingly uncontrollable streak of jealousy. But I think it's getting better. Or he's trying, anyhow. I think. I try and actually talk to him about it, but...
[That's when things get difficult, and Lust doesn't quite know how to explain it all herself.]
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Why?
This isn't something he can understand. He's not trying to take Lust away from him or anything. They're traveling because they're friends, nothing more. Besides, even if they were something more, he isn't about to stop Lust from pursuing a relationship with Scar.]
You'll get through to him eventually, I'm sure.
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[She can understand that. But there's so much more than what Scar's been brought up to believe. She wouldn't care so much if not for the current situation.]
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[It's not really something that needs to be stated, but they're not lovers. Even if they were, it wouldn't change how Lust feels towards Scar, nor would he want it to.]
We'll find a way to help him understand.
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Yes, that's it. You're my closest friend. Our bond isn't the deep romantic one he seems to think it is. I'm hoping that in person it will be easier for me to explain.
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[He struggles with explaining his relationships with people, even to himself. But he knows he doesn't feel like same way towards Lust that he does Martel, so that helps him anchor himself.
She's beautiful, and they're going to live together starting in October, but it's not out of anything romantic. It's a practical situation. They're going to be housemates.]
He'll see it once he's here. I know it.
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