ossifragant | 006 Things Acquired

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006 Things Acquired - [video;]

[Oh, look. It's Greed on video. This is something of a rarity.

He's obviously outside and on one of the routes at the moment, looking annoyed more than anything else.]

You know, I thought I had this place reasonably figured out. Got a decent grasp on battling, don't really mind living out of a hotel room, and since it's summer, traveling between cities is actually not that bad.

That being said, what the hell is this?

[The camera shifts off of Greed and onto a bug-type that looks like a wheel.]

Cedric used to be a beetle. Why--

What the hell is he supposed to be? Can he even battle like this?!

How the hell does a beetle even change shape to begin with! It's the final stage of a metamorphosis so why the hell did he go and turn into that thing?

[And since he's facing the camera, he completely misses the Whirlipede rolling its eyes at him.]

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Johto.

Where are you, on the road to Cherrygrove?

It's a few weeks away.

[Cherrygrove. Right. That's uh...that's nowhere near Viridian.]

I...did not go that way. Figured it'd be faster to get somewhere that wasn't the middle of nowhere by boat. Apparently that was a mistake.

[Sorry, buddy. He's never been to Kanto. Can't help you.]

You took the ferry to Kanto, then?

Both regions are similar, I think. At least in terms of Pokemon. I don't know anything about the cities out there unfortunately.

Yeah. Thought it'd be better than...walking. It wasn't.

[Instead he lost money and still got to walk. Which is a load of crap in his opinion.]

Wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

[He'd laugh, but he's... attempting to be polite here. He does look faintly amused by the idea just the same.]

Once you get something you can ride, it's easier.

But I've never minded walking, personally.

Like what?

[He'd prefer a car, and he's not sure what else there is besides...oh god it's not Pokemon is it?]

And I don't mind walking either, it's just, I don't know. Annoying.

[The buildings aren't even high enough to web sling from...not that he knows he can't do that anymore yet since he hasn't tried.]

They should have cars or buses or...something.

[The last time he saw the outside world for a few long time it was the 1780s. Cars terrify him. He's not getting near a car.

Obviously he's talking about a Pokemon!

Just be glad he's not going to mention that giant wheel is going to turn into something the size of a horse.]

They've got animals that look like horses here. It's probably not a bad way to get around, but I'm not exactly walking very far lately since I'm staying in one city.

[The cars comment makes him pause, though.]

Ah, I don't know anything about cars myself. Wouldn't help me out much.

Is there anything else? Because no way in hell am I riding a horse again.

[He wasn't even planning on riding one the first time. It just sort of happened.]

And cars are easy. You just get in them and drive.

[Says the guy that lives in what is roughly the present day.]

Well, I know a guy who claims the thing he rides is a tank, but it's really a giant crab.

[Giant metal crab with four brains, even.

He says this in what is a very poor attempt at casual conversation because it's still incredibly funny to him.]

Yeah, about that. I didn't even see one before a few months ago.

How-

[Okay, he really wants to ask how about both of those, but one of the is much more important so his question is...]

How the hell do you confuse a crab for a tank? Do tanks...I don't know, look different where he comes from? Like crabs?

[Because Kaine is seriously lost here.]

I dunno, you tell me.

[Kaine will get one image attachment that somehow manages to not earn a lot of immature snickering from Greed as he does it.]

To be honest I'm not sure what a tank actually looks like but I'm pretty sure he's seen them before and they don't look like that.

Yeah, well, they don't look like crabs. And that's a crab.

[Which begs a question.]

This guy's not some sort of weird...

[How does he even ask this?]

Ocean themed psychopath or anything like that?

[That's not exactly right, but...this guy rides around on a giant crab, and he's pretty sure that screams weird ocean supervillain.]

See!

[The question, though.

Really, Greed doesn't consider the idea that weird, but maybe that's because he plans on riding a giant beetle everywhere.]

That doesn't sound like him, no.

Just asking. Where I come from, anyone riding a giant crab is pretty much guaranteed to start going on about invading the surface world and I don't know...probably robbing a bank or something. For the ocean.

[That sounded much better in his head than it did out loud.]

[That mental image is hilarious. Hold on a moment, because he should contain his laughter before continuing.

...Fortunately he's not laughing very long, but he still laughed.]

Nah, nothing like that.

Good. There's too much of that shit back home, so if there's none of it here, that's one good thing about this place.

[Really, what kind of place are you from that people regularly ride around on giant crabs. Greed really wants to know and possibly explore this world.

It's not like he knows everyone here, anyway.

Though he's not going to be very helpful about what he does know at the moment.]

Can't say I've heard of anything like that. This place is usually pretty boring.

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006 Things Acquired - [video;]

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