ossifragant | 006 Things Acquired

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006 Things Acquired - [video;]

[Oh, look. It's Greed on video. This is something of a rarity.

He's obviously outside and on one of the routes at the moment, looking annoyed more than anything else.]

You know, I thought I had this place reasonably figured out. Got a decent grasp on battling, don't really mind living out of a hotel room, and since it's summer, traveling between cities is actually not that bad.

That being said, what the hell is this?

[The camera shifts off of Greed and onto a bug-type that looks like a wheel.]

Cedric used to be a beetle. Why--

What the hell is he supposed to be? Can he even battle like this?!

How the hell does a beetle even change shape to begin with! It's the final stage of a metamorphosis so why the hell did he go and turn into that thing?

[And since he's facing the camera, he completely misses the Whirlipede rolling its eyes at him.]

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He does, doesn't he?

[Luckily Cedric is chill and lazy despite constantly looking angry.]

Those big spikes he has are poisonous, apparently. I'm not too keen on testing that out, though.

So it's a pissed off poisonous tire.

[And he thought his Natu was weird.]

Which means a beetle turned into the tire from hell.

[...wow, what the hell Pokemon world.]

And people go out of their way to collect these things...why?

When put that way it does sound kind of stupid, huh? But I don't know, I think it's interesting when they're not turning into wheels.

[He shrugs at the question.]

It's something to do here. This place is pretty boring most days. Might as well collect the wildlife.

More horrifying than stupid.

[Look, all he's saying is that if those were back home, the Avengers would probably be called in or something.]

And yeah, I'm starting to get that. I mean even if you don't go around collecting the damn things, they're pretty much everywhere. You can't get away from them.

[Believe him, he's tried.]

I wouldn't call any of them horrifying.

[Well, actually.]

Except the ghost types. Those freak me out, to be perfectly honest.

[He'll spare this guy the description of Yamask because honestly it disturbs Greed beyond anything else in this place.]

It's not all bad. They're a lot smarter than normal animals.

It's an angry, intelligent, poisonous tire. What the hell part of that isn't horri...wait, ghosts?

[No one told him about the ghosts.]

...as in dead versions of these things?

[That's uh...wow. He's not even sure what to make of that.]

Edited 2014-07-03 23:58 (UTC)

He's not that angry. Well, not at me. He usually naps all the time when he isn't battling.

[Well...]

I don't think they're all actually ghosts but I don't know for sure.

Oh, that's not so bad, I guess.

[But never mind that.]

How are ghosts not ghosts? Is it a Halloween costume or something?

They still hatch from eggs as far as I know.

[GREED]

The ghost-types, I mean.

[He knows this is stating the obvious, but he can't help but do it, so...]

That doesn't make any sense.

[Still failing Pokemon 101 over here, don't mind him.]

[Greed is sympathetic more than anything because it really doesn't make any sense at all and he's still trying to understand this place.]

Yeah, I know.

You get used to it.

Most things here don't make any sense.

Yeah, but that makes even less sense than...

[How to put this into words?]

Than everything else around here that doesn't make sense.

[He shrugs.]

I guess. You do get used to it, though. Don't know how else to explain it.

Trust me, you'll find the critters are one of the least strange things.

So how exactly do you get used to things like the nearest bar being a multiday hike away and ghost eggs?

[He really doesn't have any room to talk given the crazy stuff in his world, but this is still a valid question.]

Couldn't tell you that. I'm still working on certain aspects of it.

Really, once you get to Goldenrod, it's not a bad place to settle down in.

Where's that at?

[Guess who took the starter ferry to Kanto because he thought it would result in less hiking and bonding with Pokemon?]

Johto.

Where are you, on the road to Cherrygrove?

It's a few weeks away.

[Cherrygrove. Right. That's uh...that's nowhere near Viridian.]

I...did not go that way. Figured it'd be faster to get somewhere that wasn't the middle of nowhere by boat. Apparently that was a mistake.

[Sorry, buddy. He's never been to Kanto. Can't help you.]

You took the ferry to Kanto, then?

Both regions are similar, I think. At least in terms of Pokemon. I don't know anything about the cities out there unfortunately.

Yeah. Thought it'd be better than...walking. It wasn't.

[Instead he lost money and still got to walk. Which is a load of crap in his opinion.]

Wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

[He'd laugh, but he's... attempting to be polite here. He does look faintly amused by the idea just the same.]

Once you get something you can ride, it's easier.

But I've never minded walking, personally.

Like what?

[He'd prefer a car, and he's not sure what else there is besides...oh god it's not Pokemon is it?]

And I don't mind walking either, it's just, I don't know. Annoying.

[The buildings aren't even high enough to web sling from...not that he knows he can't do that anymore yet since he hasn't tried.]

They should have cars or buses or...something.

[The last time he saw the outside world for a few long time it was the 1780s. Cars terrify him. He's not getting near a car.

Obviously he's talking about a Pokemon!

Just be glad he's not going to mention that giant wheel is going to turn into something the size of a horse.]

They've got animals that look like horses here. It's probably not a bad way to get around, but I'm not exactly walking very far lately since I'm staying in one city.

[The cars comment makes him pause, though.]

Ah, I don't know anything about cars myself. Wouldn't help me out much.

Is there anything else? Because no way in hell am I riding a horse again.

[He wasn't even planning on riding one the first time. It just sort of happened.]

And cars are easy. You just get in them and drive.

[Says the guy that lives in what is roughly the present day.]

Well, I know a guy who claims the thing he rides is a tank, but it's really a giant crab.

[Giant metal crab with four brains, even.

He says this in what is a very poor attempt at casual conversation because it's still incredibly funny to him.]

Yeah, about that. I didn't even see one before a few months ago.

006 Things Acquired - [video;]

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